Where's Hugo?

Hugo Chavez has disappeared. No one has seen hide nor hair of the cancer-stricken Venezualean President-for-Life in over a week. Allegedly he is in Cuba for another round of massive radiation treatments at Havana's secretive Chenobyl Memorial Cancer Research Center.

I realized that such massive amounts of radiation injected into a human body may have a traceable side effect. Especially if that person is very fond of beans. With Fidel's personal physician running shredded Soviet nuclear warheads through El Presidente, every time he breaks wind there has to be alarms going off in Stockholm.

Quickly I called my sources at the United States Nuclear Regulatory Commission to see if there has been any suspicious nuclear-tinged events in Cuba during the past week.

Bingo! Havana showed up in a flash like a Secret Service Agent at a Columbian  all-you-can-screw buffet.

Same thing happens when you eat Almagordo neutron tacos.