Making America Safer - One Crotch At A Time

Work it baby! Work it!

America has spoken!

We just can't enough degradation and harassment in our nation's airports, so the blue clad bully boyz of the TSA are taking their show on the road!

From the State of Tennessee where dangerous crotches run rampant:

PORTLAND, Tenn. – You're probably used to seeing TSA's signature blue uniforms at the airport, but now agents are hitting the interstates to fight terrorism with Visible Intermodal Prevention and Response (VIPR).

"Where is a terrorist more apt to be found? Not these days on an airplane more likely on the interstate," said Tennessee Department of Safety & Homeland Security Commissioner Bill Gibbons.

And in your crotch where C-4 grows wild and angels fear to tread.
The TSA motto: "All Your Crotch Are Belong To Us."

Tuesday Tennessee was first to deploy VIPR simultaneously at five weigh stations and two bus stations across the state.

Agents are recruiting truck drivers, like Rudy Gonzales, into the First Observer Highway Security Program to say something if they see something.

Never mind that busload of nuns. Are you ready for the magic?

"Not only truck drivers, but cars, everybody should be aware of what's going on, on the road," said Gonzales.

Now the TSA will randomly yank you put of your car, stand you on the side of the road and root around for any IEC's (Improvised Explosive Crotches) in traffic. Somehow that all makes sense in the land that spawned Al Gore.

I feel a lot safer already.