Most Odious Words/Phrases in the English Language: #9

Back to the dirty work of purging and defending the world's greatest language ...

9) _____________ (Insert loathesome corporate-speak phrase or word here) -- In reviewing the nominees, there are simply way too many fine ones too whittle it down to one, so they have all tied for #9. That would make corporate "middle managers" happy, any way -- a real, "win-win." So, look at this as a "robust", "empowering," "team-building" exercise of "thinking outside the box" (i.e., my last creative thought is packed away in a box that I think is somewhere in my grandmothers' attic) to "enhance" our "functionalities." We all have our least favorites here.

And that she-man with the modified mullet on the UPS commercials ... you know he/she/it has a big brown truck full of this stuff. But I digress ...

Here is what you need to know to properly identify truly wretched corporatespeak of the most pernicious kind. In cooking up the perfect batch, the simmering cauldron of Bravo Sierra must contain just the right mix of cowardliness, mediocrity, and an utter lack of creativity. Mix those three and mmm ... mmm .... mmm. If you throw in a bit of secret sauce to where no one in the room knows what you are saying but it still sounds smart to these myrmidons, ahh ... magnifique!

Incidentally, in studying this subject of vital national interest, I discovered that a whole cottage industry of creating, coding and cleaning up this crap is flourishing on the internets.

There's even a book. Check it out:



If you don't want to merely decipher, but instead would like to create your own, well, you can.

Try this on for size: Generate some genuine corp-speak, right here.

And after you are done, get that B.S. wiped off ... with this. It figures that a Swede would be fluent in this stuff.

Line rip-off alert: If there is one thing I hate worse than "intolerance" (another honorable mention, for sure), it's the Swedes.

Until next time ...