Why am I here?

The foregoing exchange came to mind when I got the call from Goomba ... And when the Goomba calls, you answer.

So, though I am not on the formal blogging circuit (at least until June 2010), Nick has asked me to contribute here from time to time. I said "yes" and am honored to do so. I do understand that I am only a naturalized Goomba and that this remains Nick's show (and thankfully so). But still ... I thought it might be fun, and also an opportunity to put some thoughts up without worrying about keeping the operation running/afloat. Nick's got the best combination of commenters, spirit, graphics, humor, and conservatism on the internets. So, it's a pleasure to be a small part.

Here is a little bit of history for the unitiated. Nick and I go way back to Homespun Blogger days in 2004. We are personally responsible for electing George Bush in 2004. I carried Texas, and Nick took care of California. We've had a lot of fun through the years. If you search "Goomba" at my site, you can get a flavor.

I remember when we both got hacked. He was shot up pretty good. His site looked like Miss South Carolina's scrabble board. "They got me good", he said, as I knelt at his blogside. I helped nurse him back, and he recovered to award me a "Golden Meatball", and for that I will forever be grateful. Once you have reached that pinnacle, well, it's all meatsauce after that.

But in all seriousness, I am here to share my thoughts from time to time because I love this site (and the man behind it) so much. I have hung around here because I love coming here, plain and simple. This is a unique place -- conservative, informative, inspirational, funny, proudly American ... human. So, I pledge fealty to Goomba and will lend my keyboard to the cause. And I also pledge to pop his underwear whenever he needs it (which is at least fortnightly). But ... don't expect me to pop Rhod's. I am not getting killed just for the sake of good entertainment on the internets.

Now, in the interest of full disclosure, I think I should tell you exactly how the phone call went down when I got (and accepted) this gig:

Goomba: DC, that you?

DC: Yes, Your Malfeasance.

Goomba: Just a word with you, my Lord. Do you think you could come and join the blog and save my asparagus? We are going down, brother. Comments are down. The remaining commenters are driving me crazy. Obama is going to tax all my profits and use them to provide free medical care to your blog readers. The country is in great need ...

DC: Yes, I know Goomba, my liege. But ...

Goomba: I knew I could count on you. God, I do love you so.

DC: But ...

Goomba: What is it, my dearest cyber friend upon whom I have never had the pleasure of laying mine eye?

DC: That's not true. Remember when your glass eye popped out at Patrenellas and I nearly mistook it for a black olive?

Goomba: Let's not dredge up old dirt, shall we? Thanks for accepting my generous offer.

DC: But wait ...

Goomba: What?

DC: How much does it pay?

Goomba: What the he ... ?! You ungrateful hick! I pull your hillbilly butt fresh out of the trailer park, save your hillary, and offer you a way off of skid row .... and this is the thanks I get!?! Three times what you're making now at your blog. That's my final offer, I swear!

DC: Liar!! Make it four.

(Three minute pause.)

Goomba: Three-and-a-half and a health plan that will cover your zit treatments! For the love of God, man, and the sake of all things decent ... accept my offer or I die!!

DC: Deal. But what of the Impaler?

Goomba: You mean "Rhoderick"? (Laughs). Ar-Hod?!! (Laughs louder).

DC: You wouldn't laugh if he was here.

(One minute silence).

Goomba: I love it when you talk Texan. But ... last I heard Rhod went off the deep end when one of his neighbors rode by with the windows down and a "Boy Named Sue" playing on the radio. He cammoed up and just lost it.

DC: I know. He's been bent about that silent "H" his whole life. He's like Curly and "Pop Goes the Weasel" when "Sue" comes on. ...

(Then it got really good. But that, dear readers, is private. A man has to have standards, after all. Nickie might blab about private encounters, but I remain steadfast in my commitment to provide a counter-balance.)

See you around the 'nets, and thanks, Nick, for the opportunity.

Okay, folks, hug your loved ones, grab your wallets and hold onto your hats. Time to ride to the fight ...